no supposed mutual understanding
only in a nothing-to-do-with-anything kind of way
in a way
("My dear, I'm working on the most marvelous invention... a boy who disappears as soon as you come, leaving a smell of burning leaves and a sound effect of distant train whistles.")
no second intentions
enough with those
the mission taken then of
just caring about first intentions
"we are meant to be seen
and not to be understood".
and in a caring way
you say to your former and/or current
(whatever former and/or current:
parent, lover, friend, stranger, etc.)
in a deep first intention-based way
"I SWEAR IT WAS NOT MY CHOICE"
and you stop and listen to what you've cried out
and you sorta like the sound and the feel of that
and you yell
"I USED TO BE SO KIND...".
And you quit Marling for a bit
and recall over-quotted Hamlet's
need of being cruel only to be kind
as drags Polonius corpse elsewhere
and you get confused.
The matter being that of being chosen
rather than choosing
no matter how fucking much
you may imagine yourself
as being able
And you simply
(because it's so simple)
don't know what you're doing
you're running out of premises
in a second-intention way of speaking
vitally important when you want to make sense.
When you want to make
if you don't,
you just move
and it's good
and it's bad
seems to be
told by an idiot, etc.